Billy Bunter

Even I had a good laugh at the dreadful photo Anthony posted. Here's another one to prove that standing next to an oversized letterbox is not actually necessary. ( I hope ! )

                                                        The Marina Benelmadena

FASHION FAUX PAS

Thanks for posting that Anthony ! ......Remind me to wear my shirt "not tucked in" it covers all the bulges. However, if you wish to look stylish like what I do ! ! ! ! get yourselves a pair of tasteful "Crocs"

How to look slim!

Here's how to look slim....

Do what John did...

have your photo taken...

next to a pillar box...

Sizergh Walk

The route of the Sizergh walk

The height profile of the walk

A CASTLE, A HALL, A CONVENT

SIZERGH, LEVENS and BRETTARGH 7 Miles

Walkers :- John W (leader) John R, Danny, Paddy, Jim,   

                  James, Martin, Anthony and Harry, 

After ridiculing John's "Stylish" footwear  and almost abandoning Danny,  our journey north to Sizergh Castle was quickly accomplished, cars parked and our walk begun.  It took us only a few minutes walking to reach the castle where according to Jim the "Princes in the Tower" may well have lived as children. 

The road curled round to the back of  the castle and we passed through the car park and soon left the

ancient fortress behind as we took to a well defined and equally well maintained footpath leading away through the fields- It was not long before we reached "Holeslack Farm" Here we again committed the cardinal error of ploughing onwards along an obvious track and not checking. A glance at the GPS, however, quickly revealed that we had left the planned route and had to go back a couple of hundred yards. Back on track and a left turn took us into a field which climbed steeply up towards the near horizon. He who had led us astray was repentant and promised that a coffee break was imminent. At the top of the field we were halted by a hedge and a wall and on turning to check the progress of the group a wonderful panorama could be seen. An ideal spot for coffee.   As we settled to our drinks a fabulous tableau of near and distant hills and valleys was spread before us. A grey, lowering sky added to the drama of it.

We had to drag ourselves away from this delightful spot and carry on upward to where the cropped turf of the fields ended  and we joined another well surfaced track. The track led us to a small church and Anthony surprised us by reminding us that this was the very church, next to which we had parked to tackle Scout Scar a couple of years before.  A well remembered and to many, a favourite walk. Inside the church we were both intrigued and charmed by the painting of the Sanctuary wall. This "Angelic painting" was done in 1919 as a war memorial.

 Again. spirit-lifting views lay before us, with the Furness fells immediately before us and the Lakeland peaks as a tantalising,  distant backdrop. Harry our weather guru, proved right again as his forecast of rain arriving at about one o'clock was spot on and his further prognostication that there would be very little of it was also "on the money". 

At this point our direction was reversed and we set off down a broad track now heading southward as we began our return leg. The "Happy Wanderers" wandered happily until John's GPS  yelled "Naughty boy ! You're off track again". Turn around gang ! Slapped wrist leader !  Aw  C'mon lads. Only a little deviation and SOON back  on the "Path of Shining Light" (sincerely hope not !) 

Our path was blocked by a large hairy beast with calf and we passed it with caution only to enter a very large field in which there was an equally large herd of delightfully calm and beautiful Jersey cows. As we passed through this field the weekly directional altercation (very mild) between A. and J took place.       A. won !

At the end of this and another smaller field we rejoined the road which, to our dismay, led steeply up to our left. This unwonted exertion immediately triggered calls for a break "Lunchtime ! Lunchtime !" came the plaintive cry.  We fought our way upwards 'till arriving at the top we were greeted by a number of large wrought iron benches. Ideal ! The benches were, unfortunately, separated by 50 yards or so,  so our friends had to inhabit separate "Dining Rooms".  Indeed one of our "Buddies chose to dine alone !!!

       "OH   Lonesome Me !"

Lunch over and once again on our way soon arriving and passing through Levens Village, A left turn as we reached the outskirts of the village and back into fields once more. Here we witnessed an amazing site as a riderless bike sped past us at great speed.  GOOD GRIEF ! In fact it was fastened to the roof of a car the whole of which was hidden by a hedge along the top of which the bike appeared to be travelling. PHEW ! Onwards and over the dual carriageway of the A590 as it sped towards the Furness peninsula and eventually to Barrow at the end of the country's longest cul-de-sac.  From here, down a short stretch of the old A6 and then leaving tarmac to follow the "Bonnie Banks" of the River Kent as it wound through Levens Park. We were struck by the magnificence of the trees in the park and passed by a herd of melanistic (dark) fallow deer for which the park is famous.

 

A final coffee on the elevated river banks and so on to Brettargh Holt, a former convent which is  now being redeveloped as a luxury hotel and conference venue. "The Villa",  After a risky re-crossing of the A590. we were quickly back at the cars. Martin's hugely alcoholic beverage was downed and off to home we went.

Throughout our journey we could not fail to admire the flora we passed by.

  

                   What's This ?   

       Wild Garlic

Cowslips

"Many superlatives" Said Jim. -------- THE END

Interesting Signs...

A further trawl of my vast picture archive revealed these two signs on a cottage door in Turton....

'It took God six days to make the earth
then he rested
Then he made man and he rested again
finally he made women
Since then no b......r  ever rested'!

 

...the answer to Blue Plaques!

Come on, P.N.E.!

(Even Anthony knows what a corner is!)

CROSSING the RUBICON (Spelt R-I-B-B-L-E )

TARLETON and BANK HALL  6/7 miles

Walkers :-  Anthony (leader), Jim, Danny, Martin and John W.

Funeral, holidays, and voluntary work combined to reduce our numbers this week and crossing the river always means a special day with special requirements.

But we were up to the challenge and our brave quartet slipped unnoticed across the river for our rendezvous with a local native guide (5th Columnist ?). Shortly after we were parked up in the , to me, surprisingly attractive and vibrant village of Tarleton.
Boots and rucksacks in place and we dropped quickly down Plock Hill stopping as we reached the banks of the canal beyond which rose the levee'd banks of the River Douglas (Asland ?) We crossed neither but turned to the right and followed the canal bank as it led us away from the built up area

We stopped briefly at garage were John had spotted a "Riley 1.5" one of the first cars he had ever owned.
At the first bridge we climbed the few steps up to the A49 Crossed over the canal and dropped back down again on the opposite bank where we were now sandwiched between canal and river. A very large ploughed field and a well defined path at it's edge fooled us into striding out and missing our planned turning point. We have done this before when invitingly obvious paths cause us to obliviously  pass our turning point. No matter ! Fresh challenges opened before us. Anthony soon picked out a new route and led us boldly onward. He even found us a comfortable and attractive spot for our coffee break.

Coffee time rarely passes without it's own minor dramas. Today one of our number found his coffee was rather weak. It somewhat resembled water - indeed it WAS water - he had forgotten to add coffee to his hot, sweetened water. As one would expect flasks were proffered from every direction.  (think there was no offer from N.N.E !) Then another companion found his "Fizzy" water so tightly stoppered that  the best efforts of several large hairy beasts could not shift it.  Anthony, however,  had "Strategies" and the "Fizz" soon flowed.
We now left the canal behind us and followed a well surfaced farm track taking us east across the fertile farmland. Ignoring the temptation to follow inviting side paths we stuck to the main track arriving at last at an unusual bridge with a "temporary" feel to it with an aluminium trackway and a rubberised central "carpet"

"There's a weight limit on that bridge fellas. Go carefully."

The strange bridge with a "Carpeted" mid section.




Once over the bridge we again took to the fields now searching for a lunch spot. The sun was  shining down upon us but even so the bare open fields somehow didn't invite us to linger and eat. After crossing two especially large open fields we once again found ourselves  in a country lane which led us to a rather "Exclusive" development. At least it felt exclusive as even the road verges looked like well manicured lawns. It felt a little uncomfortable to sit and munch on such  well tended sites so we plodded on until we entered a wood on the Bank Hall estate.  Here our valiant leader led us off the road into a tiny "delph" within the wood. A lovely sylvan dining room.

                                                                                                                                                   
Had we known what was just around the corner we may well have waited for a few more minutes before lunch. Five minutes after we emerged from the "Delph" we came to the ruins of Bank Hall. Very dramatic with magnificently elegant Elizabethan chimneys poking proudly above the ruined walls of the once beautiful mansion. A local volunteer told us all about the restoration plans.
.After exploring the grounds of the hall we left to complete our journey. The A49 soon roared in front of us and after joining it and crossing the bridges over the river and the canal we dropped down to the canal bank which we followed back to Tarleton and our parked car. After swallowing Martins dispensed largess we climbed aboard and headed home. 

Another well led walk with lots of interest. Well done leader !

Some Shirt Senor !

                                                                .  Thailand to England to Spain.  Ole !

Doctor Dementia tests your skills....

If you can read this OUT LOUD,  you have a strong mind and better than that, Alzheimer's is a long, long way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you!

7H15      M3554G3

53RV35      7O PR0V3

H0W      0UR M1ND5 C4N

D0      4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!

1MPR3551V3      7H1NG5!

1N      7H3 B3G1NN1NG

17      WA5 H4RD BU7

N0W,      0N 7H15 LIN3

Y0UR      M1ND 1S

R34D1NG      17

4U70M471C4LLY

W17H      0U7 3V3N

7H1NK1NG      4B0U7 17,

B3      PROUD! 0NLY

C3R741N      P30PL3 C4N

R3AD      7H15.

PL3453      F0RW4RD 1F

U      C4N R34D 7H15.

Only great minds can read this.

This is weird, but interesting!

If you can read this, you have a strong mind.

Can you read this? Only 55 people out of 100  can.

I cdnuolt  blveiee  that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I  was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of   the hmuan  mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it  dseno't  mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the only iproamtnt  tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rest  can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it  whotuit a pboerlm. This is  bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey  lteter by istlef, but the word as  a wlohe.

Azanmig  huh?  Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

BLEASDALE and the CIRCLE

Wood Henge, Packhorse Bridge and a 
Unique Saint  - 5 to 6 miles

Walkers :- Paddy, Martin, James, Anthony, Harry,
                  John W,  John R and Danny !

With the three amigos having returned from their Iberian interval a hastily arranged walk was on the cards. Not too hard a walk as they were still under the influence of Sun, Sea and Sangria (or similar) as was our latest recruit "Danny".

We met at Anthony's and after shuffling the cars we left for Bleasdale. By now the traffic was light and we soon left the A6 and it wasn't long before we skirted the edges of Beacon fell and dropped down into Higher Brock Mill and it's post office. "No Parking" signs forced us to leave the public highway and drive "No Cars Allowed" up the estate road to Bleasdale C.E. school where we parked and sought permission to visit the circle which was on "Private" land.  "Yes we could" visit the circle "No. we couldn't park -- but go on.  We'll let you." Thanks.

Just a short stride from the cars and we came to the isolated church of St Eadmers. This is the only church in England named after this obscure saint who reputedly chose the final resting place of St Cuthbert. Family connections to a "noble" family in the North East led to a local family funding the church and dedicating it to the said saint. A brief visit to the church was welcomed as a biting easterly wind was slicing through whatever garments we were wearing. The wind continued to torment us as we left the churchyard and followed the road upwards to our next destination. "Bleasdale Circle" a Wood henge nearly 4000 years old. Concrete blocks now show where the wooden circle once stood and a surrounding ditch has been excavating. Little else is to be seen. 

 From here our path climbed gently but steadily upwards into the magnificent bowl of the river  Brock's gathering grounds. The wind still howled around us but we were soon to turn our backs on it.  A blessed relief. 

11.20am ...... and yes, you've guessed it dear reader,  rumblings of discontent were to be heard emanating from somewhere over the valiant leader's shoulder.  COFFEE BREAK WAS LATE !  A sheltered spot had to be, and soon was, found.

 

"Brewtime"

 

Is Danny dreaming of building  an Ark? ........
...........Wait and see.

By now our short walk was well advanced and sheltering woods welcomed us out of the wind. The woodland floor was hazed by the gentle blueness of English bluebells not yet brushed aside by their more vigorous invasive Spanish relatives . Where is Francis Drake when we need him. Gemima Puddleduck is hardly in the same league and even our good friend Vic is, like our naval hero,  away playing bowls.......... Curses !    Scattered amongst the bluebells were clusters of the timidly delicate wild violets. A delightful addition to the charms of the day.

We now needed to avoid rebellion from the "coffee break plotters"  A suitable luncheon venue had to be sought. Just to our left a large farmyard marked the site of an ancient packhorse bridge as it took the original ancient track, now superseded by the tarmacked road, across the nascent river Brock. The farmer and his wife told us that the bridge was inaccessible as it was in a private garden and the owner was not inclined to allow access, - Humph !! They kindly invited us to use a sheltered spot by the river to partake of lunch. An ivitation we accepted.

Tucked comfortably against a drystone wall we ate our butties and drained our flask whilst being regaled with ditties by John (Highly dubious) and Danny, who  led us through the tale of Noah and the "Bird's Eye Maple" ( I personally find this a little chewy and much prefer "Bird's Eye Fishfingers") Danny's memorable and well remembered tale , one of Edgar Marriott's"  had us fascinated and amused. 
Before leaving we endeavoured to get some shots of the wonderful little packhorse bridge. A real local historic gem, tucked away and prohibited to the public. SAD !

 Our next stop was rather a surprise as we came across a field of mysterious buildings we could not readily identify. Tent ? Hut ? what ? On returning home Anthony quickly solved the mystery, discovering that they were in fact structures for "Glamping"  the latest fashionably holiday "craze"

  We were almost back at the car park but our leader gave the walk one final twist as he led us away from the cars and across fields only to rejoin the road and eventually come back on track and arrive at the transport. Our summertime treat was then dispensed by our regular "Camarero" Martin.

A moderate, unexciting walk but still containing moments of delight and interest - "Hasta la proxima" (Oh for heaven's sake stop showing off John)

What's This?!!!!!

Anthony - the self-confessed NON-football fan watching the second-leg match against Chesterfield in 'Looney's Irish Bar' in Benalmedina. (He's not alone!) Perhaps it was his vocal support that spurred PNE on to a spectacular 3-0 win!

Thursday

We've found a new boat for Paddy!

Someone's not an Arsenal fan!

Too true!

Spain Day 3 - Wed 6th May

Thanks, Martin!

Spain - Day 1 - Tuesday 5th May

Three Meanderthals, John W, Martin and I are sunning ourselves on the Costa del Sol, and there's plenty of hot 'sol'! Here are a pic from the first day....

The view from my 4th floor balcony (Anthony)

Who's this?

Is he riding a bike or robbing a bank?
Look at the 'selfie'!