Jim Cullen Offers more films for our delectation and consideration.

"PUSS in BOOTS" 
The inevitable consequence of Meanderthals forgetting their blister plasters

"FROZEN"   
Was it really necessary to take this mid January walk...when we were warned by our resident meteorologist.

"The FAMOUS FIVE"
 The hardy core of Meanderthal members.   

"The BORROWERS"
Has anybody got change for the "Pay and Display"

"The WIND in the WILLOWS"  
Another riverbank lunch with the Meanderthals spoilt by too many hard boiled eggs   

More Meanderthal Filmology

Following on from John's list, here are some more Meanderthal Films you might like to watch over the Christmas holidays..

The Dark Knight (2008) 

I told you we should have walked faster!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

That's us!

 Forrest Grump (1994)

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Has Russell been at it again?

It's a Wonderful Life (1946) ...and it's lasted nearly 70 years! Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) We were meant to be in the EAST!

Psycho (1960)

Yea, we've got plenty of those!

The Untouchables (2011)

Get your hands of me!

The Green Mile (1999)

That's because we're WALKING.

The Departed (2006)

It feels like that at the end of a walk.

Back to the Future (1985)

Another 'un-scheduled re-direction!

The Great Dictator (1940)

"We're going THIS way!"

Aliens (1986)

That's how we look in public

Oldboy (2003)

That's us!

Das Boot (1981)

ist made vor valking but vhat about ze usser von?

Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Yea, they've been round here...don't step in it!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

That's us to a T!

The Sting (1973)

Well, you shouldn't have come in shorts!

Inside Out (2015)

You've got your over-trousers on wrong!

Singin' in the Rain (1952)

That sums us up!

Some Like It Hot (1959)

Some? We all do!

3 Idiots (2009)

There's a lot more than 3!

Raging Bull (1980) We'd better over that stile, quick!

The Great Escape (1963)

The alternative was going with the wife to Boundary Mill!

On the Waterfront (1954)

Front, back and sides, sometimes!

Gone with the Wind (1939)

Yet more flatulence!

No Country for Old Men (2007)

It's OK. Most of us are under 70!

There Will Be Blood (2007)

....when I find out whose idea this was!

The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) So far, so good!

MEANDERTHAL FILMOGRAPHY

On our last walk it became apparent that few of our members, if any,  are film buffs. No-one had heard of "Stand by Me" - I ask you !  May I offer you a choice of films that might be of interest to our venerable (?) bunch. Here are my "Top 10".  Please feel free to make your own suggestions.

"Gone with the Wind"

A sympathetic look at the relationship between elderly gentlemen, footpaths and flatulence.. 

"Star Wars" 

A scientific investigation into the reasons why global positioning systems and their users rarely agree in spite of the former's much vaunted accuracy and the latter's years of experience.

"The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner"  

A poignant tale of a singular man who voluntarily takes the lead on many walks but eventually disappears over the horizon never to be seen again (until the next week)

"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" 

A remarkable insight into the behavioural patterns of a group of mentally challenged individuals. 

Warning. This film contains strong language and graphic images of elderly persons wandering in a confused state 

"Harry Potter" 

A stormy and passionate saga of a weathered sage whose forecasts and prognostications are trusted and valued by his companions until one day he..............mustn't spoil the ending though. 

"Jurassic Park "

An adventurous romp with a group of ancient dinosaurs roaming the countryside. The computer generated graphics are superb as the various characters almost seem real. Dinosaurs reputedly have small brains. This film does nothing to dispel this myth or legend.

"The Great Escape" 

A thoughtful film which focuses on the various and ingenious excuses and devices used by the married men of the group as they explain to spouses why it is a good idea to spend each Thursday wandering aimlessly and doing B****r all instead of the whole host of jobs they could be helping with at home. This film is a must for all students of social engineering.

"Toy Story" 

"To infinity and Beyond" the films iconic catchphrase says it all as the heroes of the film encounter an infinite number of problems. Not least frequently being lost. The film has much to recommend it but can be spoilt by being over long and rather "Limping " towards it's finale.

"Shrek" 

A Hilarious comedy about creatures that are frequently seen emerging from disgusting swamps. These larger than life characters are blissfully unaware of the dangers that surround them as they journey forth with high hopes and hearts aglow. The tale slowly descends into tragedy as our friends gradually realise that ageing limbs and befuddled minds can no longer be relied on to carry them through a WHOLE day.

"The Dam Busters" 

A tragic tale which follows the hard fought but inevitably losing battle against incontinence.

 

 

A-MAZE-ING SANTA SAUNTER

WORDEN PARK. DEC 17th

Walkers:- Paddy, Anthony, Martin, Mike
                John R, John W, James, Harry.

Seven Santas left Fulwood shortly after 9.30 and soon arrived at a rather surprising Worden Car Park. We drove through the magnificent new gateway to see that gone was the rough gravel surface and in its place was a pristine tarmac surface with bright white markings and warnings as to the dire consequences of careless parking or overstaying one's welcome (3 hours Max.) John R., whom we had arranged to meet, was nowhere to be seen. He soon appeared, however, and told us of some unfettered parking close by. We moved our cars !  Then off we set. 

 Worden is a prize-winning park full of interest.  We first passed the miniature railway where a new engine shed was being constructed. (Government grant for "Slow Speed 2" perhaps ?) Then on past the cafe and into the cobbled yard of the craft workshops where Paddy had had his Missal re-bound which sounds rather a hazardous exercise. Bouncing Missals are to be avoided !

                  Paddy in the craft yard. Head down to avoid religious U F Os

 Immediately outside the yard was the large, leaning tree which had been planted to celebrate Queen Victoria's Jubilee.   Cedar of Lebanon.   The nearby conservatory caught some peoples attention as had an attractive but  unknown flowering shrub in the yard. From here we walked the short distance to the Maze. Boldly, our intrepid walkers stepped through the gates and began to follow the paths  through it. Even though we could clearly see the paths through the winterthin hedges we frequently had to retrace our steps. Eventually we arrived at the centre of the maze, marked by a large tree. Here, conscious of the possibility of a lengthy escape we decided to have our morning coffee break.

We had nothing to fear as the maze offered an "Idiots"  escape route which we, being fully qualified "Idiots", were happy to use.

There was much more to explore in the park but we left this behind us and took the main pathway as it led out of the park towards the southern end of "Schleswig Way".

In spite of the forecast of teeming rain by lunchtime the sky now began to show signs of brightening and blue patches, albeit small ones, began to appear.  A good but damp track now led us along the edge of Leyland's built up area and a short way along here John W spotted a golf club (No 7 iron for aficionados) in the hedge.  Quite fortuitous in a way as he had left his "pole" in the car and golf club acted as a makeshift walking stick for the rest of the day.

The track ended at Leyland lane at a point about 50 metres from the southernmost roundabout on Schleswig Way, We crossed both and in a couple of hundred yards took to the fields to follow the banks of the River Lostock. A rather damp choice and not on the planned route but it had been a considered option.

 

Lunchtime was upon us by now and we searched for a sheltered spot to settle down.

                 Lunch spot ..........There are 7 people there !

And here they are.....plus photographer. 

Our journey continued with a decidedly "perfumed" atmosphere as we skirted the edge of a large sewage works. Our sojourns would not be the same without a little indecision as to the way forward. but problems were soon solved and we quickly made our way back to the planned route. We now came to quite a busy road which we had trouble crossing until a kindly motorist stopped to let us cross. Well... you really should make way for Santas at this time of year.  Altcar lane was now followed up to a right angled turn at which point the planned route was once again abandoned in favour of a rather inviting footpath which followed the dge of a valley on the other side of which was the wooded edge of Worden Park.  We were to finish our walking by following the main road back to the car park but roads are never a favourite so we crossed into the park and were directed along a footpath by a group of delightfully helpful youths.  The footpath proved rather long and indirect so we left it and slithered up a steep, muddy and leaf strewn bank which opened out at part of the miniature railway we had encountered at the start.

Now we simply had to follow the track back through the park and leave it as we approached the cars. 

Once again Martin provided refreshment but this time added to with delicious mince pies supplied by Danny who had been unable to come on the walk. Three cheers for our quartermaster duo "Hip Hip .........etc.

.....and finally John R (last weeks winner) presented the "Walker of the Week" cup to Mike for his cartographically magnificent efforts.

Rivington

The recent wet weather dictated that this week's walk should be over 'firm' ground! Consequently, a route in the Rivington area, near Chorley, was chosen. This took in the Visitor Centre, Rivington Hall and Barn, the Tower and the summit of Rivington Pike with its splendid view over the Lancashire plain.

The start of the walk from the car park at the Visitor Centre.
A sudden shower as we started our walk necessitated a dash for cover under a dining shelter provided by the GoApe activity centre. Ten minutes later we 'Aped' our way along the shore of Rivington Lower Reservoir.

The Rivington Pre-school and Primary School. The children were preparing for their Christmas show. Oh Happy Memories!? 

The hamlet that is Rivington

The streams were in spate following the recent heavy rain.

Part of the ornamental gardens on the Leverhulme estate

The sinister looking 'Pigeon Tower'

The view of the reservoirs from the Pigeon Tower

Continuing on up to the Pike 

Jim poses against the background of the Lancashire plain

Rivington Lower Reservoir

Looking back to the pigeon tower

The TV mast on Winter Hill rising out of the cloud

Part of Rivington & Blackrod High School

Liverpool Castle on the shore of the reservoir looking back to the tower on Rivington Pike

Our route, starting from the car park on the left

The height profile of our walk

Remember....next time you fly!!

Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics 

about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, 

and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) 

and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P:  Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S:  Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P:  Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S:  Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P:  Something loose in cockpit.

S:  Something tightened in cockpit.

P:  Dead bugs on windshield.

S:  Live bugs on back-order.

P:  Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S:  Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P:  Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S:  Evidence removed.

P:  DME volume unbelievably loud.                               (a YD problem?)

S:  DME volume set to more believable level.

P:  Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S:  That's what friction locks are for.

P:  IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S:  IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P:  Suspected crack in windshield.

S:  Suspect you're right.

P:  Number 3 engine missing.

S:  Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P:  Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)

S:  Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P:  Target radar hums.

S:  Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. (normally ok for us, apart from the ‘ahs’)

P:  Mouse in cockpit.

S:  Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P:  Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S:  Took hammer away from midget.

(Thanks John)