NURSERYLAND

UNBELIEVABLE !

With no particular walk planned for that week the Meanderthals decided to go with the flow and see where the day would take them.

After parking the cars we set off to follow the path across the adjacent field. It was a narrow path which wandered from side to side across the field. It really was a "Crooked Path". They continued to follow it across several more fields and a wood until after about a mile they came to a very ramshackle stile. As they climbed over the stile Vic noticed that stuck in the mud left by previous boots was a small silvery coin. After picking it up and wiping the mud off he declared it was an old silver sixpence. It was rather bent, most likely from having been stuck in the cleats of someone's hiking boots. He slipped it into his pocket.

The group continued their walk as the footpath approached a large conical hill. The path veered to the right to pass round the bottom of the hill but "Super Fit Danny" insisted they should climb the hill and enjoy the view from the top.  So.... he marched them up to the top of the hill, where the view was indeed wonderful , then he marched them down again.

Our walk continued as lunchtime approached. Just ahead of us was a small wood and as a chilly breeze was now blowing we decided to seek shelter among the trees. As we reached the wood ,however, we found that the tall hedge surrounding it was completely overgrown with brambles and nettles.

We found a sheltered spot outside the wood and settled down to have our "Butties". A few moments later a young man burst out of the wood through a narrow gap we had not noticed. He ran towards us shouting "Help ! Help ! My girlfriend has collapsed. I think she's dead." We jumped to our feet and followed him through the narrow gap with the brambles clawing at our clothes.  There, lying on a picnic blanket, was a beautiful young girl looking decidedly unwell. She was very pale and her lips looked blue. "What happened ?" asked Jim C. "We were having a picnic. She was eating an apple. We were chatting and laughing when she suddenly started choking and then fell over." Jim quickly bent down and hauled the lifeless girl to her feet. As he stood behind her he put his arms around her waist and violently squeezed her below the ribcage. A chunk of apple shot out of her mouth. He let go and she slumped back onto the blanket and appeared to have stopped breathing. Jim grabbed the young man and "ordered" him to kiss his girlfriend and blow air into her mouth. "again" he said "and again".  Suddenly the girl coughed and choked and opened her eyes.  "She should be OK now.

 " said Jim. "The apple nearly killed her but the "Kiss of Life"  saved her."    Jim had dialled 999 and as soon as we heard the syren of the ambulance approaching we wished the couple good luck and continued on our walk.

We were not, however, finished with emergency vehicles. As we entered the village to make our way to the park where we had left the cars, we came upon the absurd scene of a rather large man sitting on a garden wall. The capping stones had shifted over time and he had been straightening them up and repointing them. "I've finished now." he said with a smile as he shuffled along the wall towards the step ladder he had used to get up there. "Looks a good job. You take care" said Mike who was a dab hand at DIY. "I certainly will." came the reply. He gave a cheery wave as we set off again. Only moments later there was a shout and a crash. We turned to see the stepladder on the ground and the man sprawled unconscious on the floor with blood pouring from the back of his head. Paddy, a retired pharmacist, looked carefully at his head before saying,"I think he may have cracked his skull". Anthony was already dialling 999 as a lady came rushing out through the garden gate, "Humphrey,  Humphrey . What have you done ?" Well with the ambulance on it's way and neighbours already gathering to help there was little we could do to put him back together again so we left to continue our walk

With all the delays it was quite dark by the time we reached the cars, We were taking off our boots and climbing into the cars when John suddenly shouted "Look ! " and pointed. Sprinting across the park was an small elderly man in his pyjamas. Some distance behind was an equally elderly lady. "William, Come back." she shouted. She stopped as she passed us  gasping for breath, "  He's..... got... dementi...a" she managed to say. He's always doing this. Sometimes he goes into other peoples house thinking he's home." "William... Willy !" she shouted as she set off after him again. 

We all looked at each other . Then someone said "ENOUGH" and we all jumped into the cars and drove quickly home.

THE END