Observations on the Bare - Morecambe Walk

The thought of walking down the promenade at Morecambe doesn't sound the most exciting of walks.
However, on a day when the weather is half-decent and even with a biting head-wind, this has got to be one of the most varied and scenic walks in Lancashire.
The views across the Lune estuary and Morecambe are quite stunning....but the 'gem' comes at the end of this walk when, standing next to the 8th century stone coffins, you look across the bay from the ancient church of St. Peter at Heysham Head.

(AGD)

Yes ! We have no bananas - not now anyway.

                                        Sorry Mike, Couldn't resist this one

Bare to Heysham Walk

Go Naked to the Grave !

Bare to Heysham along Morecambe  Prom. 5.5 Miles

Walkers :- Harry Paddy, Vic, Martin, Anthony, Mike John R, John W. 

With the rain hammering down on the conservatory roof and pools of water growing by the minute todays "steamed" (esteemed surely ? No !) leader had grave doubts about the wisdom of a walk along the windswept Lancashire coast. The BBC however assured us that the day would improve. As we gathered for the day  this forecast was confirmed by Harry an even more reliable and authoritative  source of weather information. Sure enough as we decamped near Bare and set off along the promenade the rain ceased and blue patches appeared amongst the clouds.

As we headed towards our destination we could not of course pass by without paying homage to "ERIC" and we turned aside to have the usual souvenir shots taken.

The sky was now blue and the rain merely a memory but we were under constant challenge from a fierce, cold wind sweeping in across the grey white-tipped waves of the bay. After a short stop to discuss the whereabouts of the old "Lido" we soon arrived at the "Stone Jetty" Here we stopped for our "coffee" and Martin's welcome "Libation"   Public toilets were at a premium but our ever resourceful "Meanderthals" each solved the problem in their own way.

As we quenched our thirsts we spent some time investigating the various "elements" of the Jetty and admired the exterior of the "Midland Hotel" which is a "Art Deco" masterpiece visited by enthusiast from all over the country and even beyond our borders. Paddy, ever the "Sophisticate", informed us that he had "Taken Tea" there on a number of occasions

Martin's Huntsman's hot stuff was even more appreciated on this walk as some of us were being chilled by the constant strong wind

As we had our coffee we were entertained by some lunatic purporting to be the the famous (infamous) Scot "Jimmy"  "

See Yu !"




The wind continued to filch its' way through our garments as we strode onwards towards Heysham Head which we could now see in the distance. Paddy the "PHARMACIST" left us briefly to visit a "PHARMACY" where he sought "Ibuprofen" tablets. A little further along the prom a head suddenly popped up from behind a low wall. It was Harry who with Anthony had discovered a well sheltered spot for us to huddle down with our butties.

Comestibles comested (???) we began the final part of our walk. Ahead of us Anthony pointed out the Ancient parish church temporarily wrapped in white tarpaulins as workmen repaired the roof. The promenade ended and a short flight of stone steps led us up into the under appreciated delightful quaintness of Heysham village.

The Church was unavailable to us so we quickly made our way to the ruins of St Patrick's Chapel and the stone cut graves. An information board informed us that the site was founded in the 8th Century but the this 

meant that the connection with St Patrick was hardly possible. Here we met two ladies who informed us they were members of a society that worked to preserve significant historical buildings and sites. They were also "Birders" and had spotted 59 (69 ?) different feathered friends during the last two days. After climbing to view the magnificent prospect of the Nuclear power station which, of course, enhanced the beauty of the maritime vista. So much so that we all felt a warm glow !!!
Returning from the hillside we visited the old walled garden  (some garden)  Once again Harry was a mine of information and told us about Rose Gardens, Parrots and Bears which once populated this area. Pierrots were mentioned too.  As children we would have found this such an exciting place to explore and still as children- we did !!

Out of the garden and through the pretty main street of Heysham 'till Vic urged us to get to the bus stop as a bus might be imminent (16.40 he told us). He was right and a few minutes later we were trundling back towards Bare. 

Got it wrong again we departed the 'bus too soon. Climbing into our cars we set off home BUT not all of us. Toilets beckoned and so one car pulled into a car park across the railway and had hot drinks in a seaside cafe. The facilities were used. Home............

A straightforward well known walk but still worth doing.

Collective nouns!

Finally.....

the collective noun for a group of Meandethals has been found...


....


'An Incontinence of Meandertals'!

and here's the proof....(scroll down)

Inglewhite Cheese Trail

Whey Hey !
Tasty Lancashire Cheese Trail 7/8 miles
Walkers:-  Anthony, Vic,  John W,  John R,  Martin,  Jim, Mike,  Paddy.

Our walk began in Inglewhite a few yards away from the village centre opposite the Unitarian (?) chapel. Waterproofs were donned from the start as  a steady drizzle filled the air. A right  turn at the Market Cross and we soon arrived at gateway which gave us fair warning of the ground conditions we were to experience throughout our walk -  MUD !  After crossing a couple of soggy fields we arrived at a rough track of sorts. This took us past a "Hot Tub" which we paused to admire but declined to use as the heating seemed to be out of order

Our walk continued with the rain now almost gone  as we searched for a "Coffee"spot, Conditions underfoot remained challenging. In the absence of a handy bench or even a fallen tree we eventually opted for a sheltered (and relatively dry) corner of the next field  just after tackling the first of a series of tricky stiles - The height and slippery woodwork of the stiles was the problem.

As we sat and drank our various beverages Vic entertained us with a fascinating story which began as a car journey but quickly arrived at a point of high drama as Vic continued - -  "I'm Falling !" we waited with bated breath for the denouement of the tale, "I'm falling !" Vic repeated with greater urgency - We waited - but on the third repetition of "I'm falling !" Paddy realised that this was not part of Vic's tale but he was indeed FALLING ! The back leg of his stool was slowly sinking into the mud and unable to stand up he was being gradually tipped backwards into the mud.. Paddy grabbed him and helped him to his feet as the rest of us sat on our stools, pinned by gales of helpless laughter. Breathless apologies followed. "We all thought it was part of your story !"

Off again with mud still "clogging" our footsteps . Up to this point our walk seemed to be equally divided into field, road, field, road.  Here, however, we made a wrong choice and arrived at the road at an unplanned point and following the printed instructions we took a right turn. Because we were on the wrong stretch of road this led us in the wrong direction. We soon realised this and turned back heading towards the "Horns Inn" Again a right turn at the Horns Inn, followed shortly after by a further right turn and we found ourselves outside the "Cottage" restaurant. Here a short debate ensued. "Do we park ourselves in the environs of the said establishment and eat our butties or...."

The general opinion was that to eat our own butties outside a food establishment might be a little less than diplomatic. So saying, we turned back a little way to where a kissing gate invited us to take to the muddy fields once more and resume our walk. NOT YET ! Once through the gate we took out our dangerous "tipping" stools and sat and had lunch.

Now a problem ........  What constitutes a "Diagonal" direction?...and how many degrees does diagonal movement take.  Never trust a diagonal. Always remember "The squire on the hippopotanuse is equal to the son of the squires in the two opposing fields " so there ! -- We were LOST !  A friendly farmer (property developer ?) put us back on track but we decide after consultation to make a change to the planned route

Almost immediately the road sloped down to a charming ford where a brown stream gurgled across our path. To the right of the ford a bridge provided a dryer way forward. One of our number, however. the "hairy Gnome" could not resist the watery challenge and waded across  - AND REMAINED DRY-FOOTED/ 

                             The rest chose the bridge

Once past the ford another difficult stile climbed into yet another piece of challenging terrain - both muddy AND  uneven. As we climbed the next stile to take us away from this particular hazard Vic provided more drama for our delectation. As he began to climb down from the stile he managed to tangle his foot in the fencing and ended up on his back with a nasty gouge deep against his shin-bone

Martin was immediately to his aid and the rest of us quickly joined him. Cleaning fluid swabs, plasters and bandages were soon produced and a few minutes later our bloodied companion was on his feet and walking.

And so, a couple more fields and stiles and our starting point hove into view but not before Jim told us about his son who had done the filming for the much vaunted and much hyped exposing of the "Eastenders" murderer. Even the cast do not know the ending.  How exciting!

A wet, muddy, tiring walk but nevertheless good. Full of interest and INCIDENT. Well done!

Meanderthal Collective

After our discussion about the collective name for geese I took to thinking what would be an appropriate "collective" for a group of Meanderthals. Should it be alliterative as in "Gaggle of Geese" or simple "Flock of sheep" or even rather obscure as "Parliament of Owls".
Here's a few ideas. I'm sure you could all come up better ones. (keep it decent !)

"A Meander" of Meanderthals  - far too obvious
"A March" of Meanderthals - not exactly descriptive of the beasts.
"A Magnificence" of Meanderthals - only joking.
"A Meanness " of Meanderthals - not funny (nor true) 
"A Moaning" of Meanderthals - "Moan !"   Us ?
"A Muddle" of Meanderthals - getting warm
"A Mumble" of Meanderthals" - ummm..has its virtues.
"A Mouldering of Meanderthals - Now we're getting close.

Perhaps we might find a more descriptive term if we went outside the alliterative parameters. 

"A Bewilderment" of Meanderthals - Has its' moments
"A Wandering" of Meanderthals - Could be a favourite.
"A Puzzlement" of Meanderthals - Don't understand that !
"A Pedantry"  of Meanderthals - bit close to the knuckles that one.
"A Confusion" of Meanderthals - Apt !
"A Traipse" of Meanderthals -  Bit obscure.

There must be hundreds of better "Collective" nouns. If you click on the "Comments" icon you could add your own. 
See you when the "Group" (bit boring that one) meets again

Guess who?

Guess which Meanderthal this is?
(There's a slight clue in the background!)

A Poisonous ending to our walk

                                             A Poisonous ending to our walk

Na' Then Cocker (part 2)

For some reason the second half of the "Match report got lost so here's a rewrite :-

The rumblings emanating from the stomachs and the mouths of several members indicated that lunchtime was rapidly approaching if not passing . A short distance down the lane we had now turned down, was a wood romantically entitled "Weasel Wood" With a wind beginning to disturb the willows we looked forward to spotting Badger Ratty and Toad. The wood, however, was a disappointment and "Weasel" words were exchanged. Decisions, decisions - move on or munch. Munching was the winner and we settled to our butties. As we ate, Anthony regaled us with a selection of spoofs based on the "Mary had a little Lamb" nursery rhyme. All were highly amusing though not all were strictly tasteful ! The wood had recently been worked on and as we left  a large hammer was spotted. A "Mel" and a "Mallet" were suggested (it was Big) neither being correct (Check dictionary). We placed it in a more obvious spot for its' owner to retrieve.

The track led us onwards to Little Crimbles where after passing through a large and shambolic farmyard we crossed over the River Cocker and took to the fields. In the distance was our next target St Michaels church Cockerham. Here we sat amongst the gravestones to finish our flasks whilst Harry explained that many of the churches had their towers and the main body of the church built many years (hundreds ?) apart. Digits ablaze our new member (Jim) was dexterously dabbing his Smartphone to supply us with the church's history. Rucksacks packed (would you believe John left something out !!!!!) and off on our final stretch. Over a sodden field - A Paddy field (blame Harry !) and over a very tricky stile to follow a narrow enclosed path along the side of the field This led us to the airfield and clubhouse of the aforementioned Black Knights. 

We now rejoined our original path at the marsh edge and made our way back to the cars but not before discovering a small and obviously old bottle. Paddy explained that the ribbed side of the bottle was to allow blind people to identify as containing poison. sighted people could read the word "poison" embossed upon it. 

A simple straightforward walk but nevertheless not without interest and still enjoyable.

A Walk centred on the River Cocker (Distance 6/7 miles)

"Na' Then Cocker"
Distance 6/7 miles
Walkers. Paddy, Anthony, Vic, John. Harry, Mike
 and Jim (  a new boy)

10 o'clock saw us passing through Hillam and parking next to the "OWERSHEEPHAVENOROADSENSE" sign we have previously met on Cockersands Abbey walks.  This time instead of turning right and following the causeway we carried straight on towards Cockerham Marsh. In order to avoid the wet and muddy path at sea (marsh) level we took to a rather  narrow but well defined path halfway  up the "Levee". So narrow was the path that it demanded concentration. More than a few seconds checking the map was decidedly ill-advised.   

The coastal path, though interesting in itself , was disappointing in that the sea was nowhere to be seen. At this point John got a gentle slap on the wrist for his rather casual and dismissive identification of two birds as Shelducks. . Soon after a flock of geese took noisily to the sky, filling the the air with their raucous  calls. There was no difficulty in identifying them but a discussion followed on the words to be used - Gaggle versus Skein. (Thinks " Must check the dictionary")  

It wasn't long before we reached the River Cocker at a point imaginatively called "Cocker Bridge" Here we sat to have coffee (and Jeiger tea - Spelling ?) next to a sluice gate with a rather crafty one way system. From here we took to the road for about half a mile Paddy's solicitousness served us well as he shepherded us away from the speeding traffic on this surprisingly busy highway. 

We soon left the traffic behind as we took a left turn and headed inland for the best part of a mile only to rejoin another.

                                                                                 "The Apprentice"

Lytham Hall route

The map shows the route we took as tracked by a Garmin 62s 
The START is top right near Saltcoates Cemetery

Lytham Hall - Snowdrop Walk

Having done this walk at least three times before, I was expecting it to be a fairly routine, familiar walk with very uncertain weather conditions. Nothing could have been further from the truth!

After parking near Saltcotes Lane, on the outskirts of Lytham, we set off in rather dull weather conditions towards Green Drive. This is a pedestrianised area of trees and shrubs, popular with dog-walkers. Our 'resident ornithologist' (PO'D) immediately spotted a yellow wagtail. (A good time for bird-watching whilst the trees are bare.)

Emerging from Green Drive, we made our way to the entrance to Lytham Hall, formerly the home of the Clifton family.

On entering the grounds, we were soon directed, by make-shift signs, to the 'Snowdrops Trail' and, lo and behold, the sunshine broke through the clouds to reveal the vast areas of snowdrops at their best.

On seeing the signs for the Cafe, there was unanimous consent for a coffee stop. Here we were greeted by a very welcoming 'young lady' behind the counter. She was also a very persuasive saleswoman, pointing out to us that, "If you buy a drink, you're not allowed out without buying a cake!" So, desperate for a drink, we were also 'force fed' slices of homemade, cherry flapjack! Eat your heart out JW!

Returning to the snowdrop trail, Paddy decided that an alternative and "quicker' route could be found that would take us towards the exit. So, after ten minutes of fighting our way through brambles and climbing over tree trunks and branches we arrived back where we started - at the Hall! (memo: must give Paddy a compass next time)

Leaving the grounds, we continued through a residential area and into Witch Wood, a linear wooded area, which took us eventually out onto the main road. From here we made our way, briskly, to Fairhaven Lake and the 'Spitfire Memorial' where 'Biking Mike' had waited for over an hour, in the early spring sunshine, to show us his new toy - a super-lightweight, carbon fibre bike! He's risen from Preston and was returning via Cleveleys.

A late lunch was taken overlooking Fairhaven Lake and, after parting with Mike, we made our way to the promenade. The view across the Ribble estuary towards Southport with the sun shimmering on the low tide was spectacular. This was enhanced by the views towards the aptly named, snow-capped Winter Hill.

Continuing towards the iconic Lytham windmill, we turned inland passing through Lytham town centre and through the residential area back to the car.

A routine walk? Anything but..!
(AD)

The new apiary area

A group of volunteers are doing wonderful work improving the grounds

NO COMMENT!

quotations

On entering a field on a recent walk our intrepid explorers noticed it contained livestock. The following conversation was overheard.

D.U.C.D cows?
M.N.O cows
S.D.R cows
R.D.R cows?
R.D.L !