Inglewhite Cheese Trail

Whey Hey !
Tasty Lancashire Cheese Trail 7/8 miles
Walkers:-  Anthony, Vic,  John W,  John R,  Martin,  Jim, Mike,  Paddy.

Our walk began in Inglewhite a few yards away from the village centre opposite the Unitarian (?) chapel. Waterproofs were donned from the start as  a steady drizzle filled the air. A right  turn at the Market Cross and we soon arrived at gateway which gave us fair warning of the ground conditions we were to experience throughout our walk -  MUD !  After crossing a couple of soggy fields we arrived at a rough track of sorts. This took us past a "Hot Tub" which we paused to admire but declined to use as the heating seemed to be out of order

Our walk continued with the rain now almost gone  as we searched for a "Coffee"spot, Conditions underfoot remained challenging. In the absence of a handy bench or even a fallen tree we eventually opted for a sheltered (and relatively dry) corner of the next field  just after tackling the first of a series of tricky stiles - The height and slippery woodwork of the stiles was the problem.

As we sat and drank our various beverages Vic entertained us with a fascinating story which began as a car journey but quickly arrived at a point of high drama as Vic continued - -  "I'm Falling !" we waited with bated breath for the denouement of the tale, "I'm falling !" Vic repeated with greater urgency - We waited - but on the third repetition of "I'm falling !" Paddy realised that this was not part of Vic's tale but he was indeed FALLING ! The back leg of his stool was slowly sinking into the mud and unable to stand up he was being gradually tipped backwards into the mud.. Paddy grabbed him and helped him to his feet as the rest of us sat on our stools, pinned by gales of helpless laughter. Breathless apologies followed. "We all thought it was part of your story !"

Off again with mud still "clogging" our footsteps . Up to this point our walk seemed to be equally divided into field, road, field, road.  Here, however, we made a wrong choice and arrived at the road at an unplanned point and following the printed instructions we took a right turn. Because we were on the wrong stretch of road this led us in the wrong direction. We soon realised this and turned back heading towards the "Horns Inn" Again a right turn at the Horns Inn, followed shortly after by a further right turn and we found ourselves outside the "Cottage" restaurant. Here a short debate ensued. "Do we park ourselves in the environs of the said establishment and eat our butties or...."

The general opinion was that to eat our own butties outside a food establishment might be a little less than diplomatic. So saying, we turned back a little way to where a kissing gate invited us to take to the muddy fields once more and resume our walk. NOT YET ! Once through the gate we took out our dangerous "tipping" stools and sat and had lunch.

Now a problem ........  What constitutes a "Diagonal" direction?...and how many degrees does diagonal movement take.  Never trust a diagonal. Always remember "The squire on the hippopotanuse is equal to the son of the squires in the two opposing fields " so there ! -- We were LOST !  A friendly farmer (property developer ?) put us back on track but we decide after consultation to make a change to the planned route

Almost immediately the road sloped down to a charming ford where a brown stream gurgled across our path. To the right of the ford a bridge provided a dryer way forward. One of our number, however. the "hairy Gnome" could not resist the watery challenge and waded across  - AND REMAINED DRY-FOOTED/ 

                             The rest chose the bridge

Once past the ford another difficult stile climbed into yet another piece of challenging terrain - both muddy AND  uneven. As we climbed the next stile to take us away from this particular hazard Vic provided more drama for our delectation. As he began to climb down from the stile he managed to tangle his foot in the fencing and ended up on his back with a nasty gouge deep against his shin-bone

Martin was immediately to his aid and the rest of us quickly joined him. Cleaning fluid swabs, plasters and bandages were soon produced and a few minutes later our bloodied companion was on his feet and walking.

And so, a couple more fields and stiles and our starting point hove into view but not before Jim told us about his son who had done the filming for the much vaunted and much hyped exposing of the "Eastenders" murderer. Even the cast do not know the ending.  How exciting!

A wet, muddy, tiring walk but nevertheless good. Full of interest and INCIDENT. Well done!