Caption Pic 28th Dec

"Is this the road to Damascus then?
"We'd better turn right here, we need all the help we can get!"
"Ah Good ... Samaritans ...They might get us a room for the night  ...... 
and pay the bill!"

Poetry for Meanderthals!!

I was shown this poem over Christmas, which I'm sure will appeal to a Meanderthal sense of Humour......!!

Christmas Day in the Workhouse

by Ronnie Barker

inspired by George R. Sims

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse,

The merriest day of the year,

The paupers and the prisoners

Were all assembled there.

In came the Christmas pudding,

When a voice that shattered glass

Said, "We don't want your Christmas pudding,

So stick it there with the rest of the unwanted presents".

The workhouse master then arose

And prepared to carve the duck.

He said, "Who wants the parson's nose?"

And the prisoners shouted, "You have it yourself, sir!

The vicar brought his bible

And read out little bits.

Said one old crone at the back of the hall,

This man gets on very well with everybody.

The master rose to make a speech,

But just before he started,

The mistress who was fifteen stone,

Gave three loud cheers and nearly choked herself

And all the paupers then began

To pull their Christmas crackers.

One pauper held his too low down

And blew off both his paper hat and the man's next to him.

The mistress, dishing out the food,

Dropped custard down her front.

She cried,"Aren't I a silly girl?"

And they answered, "You're a perfect picture as alway's ma'am!"

So then they all began to sing

Which shook the workhouse walls.

"Merry Christmas!" cried the master

And the inmates shouted; "Best of luck to you as well sir!?

(from 'Dancing by the Light of the Moon' by Gyles Brandreth)

MEDICAL 5

Postscript :-

After his very positive and so far successful knee replacement operation. John W joined the rest of the "gang" for an "End of Year" luncheon at Wetherspoons. 

Lunch over he was on the pavement outside waiting for Martin G who had gone to fetch the car to run him home. As he waited, leaning on his crutches, a young lady walked past. She was rather unusually dressed and looked very much as if she was sleeping rough. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her hesitate and then turn back in his direction. "Oh aye" he thought, " she's on the scrounge for -  "Any spare change mister ? "

But no. She stopped in front of him and asked. "Can I help you across the road or anything ?"

"Judge not that Ye be judged."

"You can't judge a book by it's cover."

Caption Pic 21st Dec

"Are they rehearsing for a Christmas show?
Knee replacement op.  "Me next" "No me" "What about me ?" 
"Well,  does anyone need the toilet?"
"These walks are always a bit of a pantomime!"
"Which Relic is Eric ?"

Horton in Ribblesdale to Pen-y-Ghent via Helwith Bridge. Walkers Mike H and Danny K

Mike getting kitted up on the car park in Horton.

We had intended to make the ascent of Pen-y-Ghent, but decided on an alternative lower level circular walk via Helwith Bridge due to the amount of snow on the way up.

Crossing over the River Ribble.

The rout took us under the Settle to Carlisle railway line.

Looking back to Pen-y-Ghent

The Helwith Bridge Hotel

Leaving Helwith Bridge we joined the Pennine Way, which was to take us back towards our original objective.

Whilst having our elevenses and taking in the winter scenery of the valley below, Mike spotted someone on their way up, who
joined our path a little way ahead.

The man didn't turn towards us but turned the opposite way, towards Pen-y- Ghent. On checking the map, I found that he had come up on the path that we were to have come up on, on our original planned walk. 

We decided to take another look at the way up Pen-y-Ghent,to see if it was do'able. On reaching the top of the rise, it was still unclear, so we went on and on and on. We spotted another path down, but decided to carry on further. 

On reaching the bottom of the lower rocky escarpment, the wind was gale force, and there was still quite a long way to go. we decided to save it for another day and turned back.

On the way down, looking back, mist was coming down, and the summit was no longer visible, convincing us that we had taken the right decision.

On reaching the valley floor we had a late lunch before returning to the car, at 14. 30. Thanks for a good walk Mike. 8.75 miles
DK

Caption pic 14th Dec

"Come fly with me. Come fly, let's fly away..."

Rumours are rife that Paddy is to star in the next Batman movie.

"Go easy on the beans next week Paddy. "

"Ready for take-off?" .... "NO!  Zip me up first!!"

"ZIP ME UP SCOTTIE !"   "It's life Jim but not as we know it."

"..... and I want a helmet!"

Liverpool.

Walkers: Anthony, Vic, Danny, Paddy, Jim, Dave, Mike and Martin.

We picked Jim and Dave up at the Fleece in Penwortham, and from there they directed us through the new road layout, to the newly opened Penwortham by-pass. From there we made our way to Merseyrail's Old Roan station on the outskirts of Liverpool, where we purchased our tickets to take us into the city. The rain was coming down steadily by now.

After changing trains at Moorfield for the Chester train with the help of a young lady employee, who very kindly guided us through the station to the correct platform. We travelled just one stop along the line to Lime Street, where Anthony had arranged to meet up with Mike H, who had made his own way there.

We didn't have to wait more than a couple of minutes before Mike was spotted, hood up to protect himself from the rain, which was coming down quite hard now, striding out across the concourse towards the Christmas display outside St. Georges Hall. After
making our greetings we decided to seek refuge in the basement cafe within the hall.

With no hard and fast itinerary to stick to (fast!!! we don't do fast)
we decided to do a tour of the hall, in the hope that the rain would abate. This is one of the basement cells, where prisoners where locked up, often for minor offences, before being escorted up a narrow stairway to the dock of the court, where many were sentenced to deportation to Australia

The judges chair. ( The seat of power)

This is the Gallery, overlooking the main hall. The beautiful mosaic floor is only on display on special occasions. Most of the time it is boarded over as it is now, to protect it.

The rain persisting, and time getting on, we set off to the cafe within the precinct of the Metropolitan Cathedral, where it was planned we should have our lunch.

On our way to the cathedral we passed this primary school. The
fence may have only been put up to stop balls being kicked over the wall, but it gives it the appearance of a prison.

,

When we reached the cafe, Jim managed to secure us a little room all to ourselves.

After lunch, the rain having stopped, we headed up to the cathedral where a carol service for the primary school children of the diocese was just finishing. After letting the multitude process out, we set off further up the hill to the Victoria Museum and Gallery where we could only have a short visit, due to the time creeping up on us.

 .

Off back down hill to Central station, where there was a little wait for the next train. Martin took the opportunity to present us with
cakes to celebrate his forthcoming birthday on Monday. 
Thanks Martin. Once back at Old Roan we had a relatively easy journey home, albeit in the dark.
DK

MEDICAL 4

THIS IS IT !

I am sitting on my bed which has been wheeled into the Anaesthetics room. I have just been attacked by a large porcupine. At least that's what it feels like. I have needle holes in back, front and both arms from which various tubes and wires are protruding Ouch !
The double door swings dramatically open into the operating theatre. There are four people standing around the operating table .They look towards me and wave. I could swear they are holding knives and forks. 

OBLIVION

Two hours later, Val, waiting in my room is informed "All has gone well he's in the recovery suite."   "He's a bit of a character though." They add.  

A CHARACTER !  What does that mean ?


Long John Silver (Treasure Island -will need a parrot))
Blind Pugh           (Treasure island - will need a stick and a black spot)
Joseph                  (will need a shepherds crook)
Moses                   (can use his stick to get drinks from rocks)
A Crooked Man    (That crooked stile sounds like par for a Meanderthal walk)

Ah well......… All had indeed gone well and I am now back home as the owner of a magnificent . brand new pair of crutches.  Then comes the eternal question. "What do you do with them when you no longer need them ?"

Thanks everyone for your good wishes.

Caption pic 7th Dec

"It's obviously been painted by a committee!"
Must be the "Brexit Boat". It's very confusing .
"Very clever! A boat in disguise!"
"Is it made of Lego?
"Are they the crew waiting to get on? Probably press-ganged!!"

MEDICAL 3

GOOD LUCK !

J. W wishes to say "Thank you"  to all the many people who have wished him good luck for his operation on Monday (9th). He is now rather concerned as he had previously not anticipated LUCK playing a major part in the outcome of his surgery.  Oh Eck !

to be continued...…….

Lancaster 5 miles Walkers Mick Mike Anthony Paddy and Danny The early morning sky over preston was a fiery red. That combined with the weather forecast, which predicted an increasing chance of rain as the day progressed, did nothing to dampen the spirits of our seasoned walkers.

Arrangements had been made to meet mick at the starting point of our walk. We parked up on Bridge Road, South Lancaster, and walked the few hundred yards to our rendezvous with mick, on Ashton Road.

Mick had not yet arrived, but a few minutes later, he was spotted
heading our way.

We set off along the path in the direction of the city centre.

This unusual bird box, prompted a discussion as to what kind of bird the owner was trying to attract.

Arriving at the bridge over the Lancaster Canal.

We followed the canal tow path towards the city, leaving it when we reached the bridge carrying the main road through Lancaster (the A6) over the canal and headed north. On reaching The Penny Alms Houses and chapel, founded in 1720. It was closed to the public while work was being done. (The workers must be on their coffee break).

Continuing on along King Street, we turned left by Waterstones, then right, up castle hill, looking forward to our morning brew in the castle grounds.

What a change since the last time we were here. A great deal of work has been carried out within the walls. Opinions differed as to the changing character of the castle, but we were all agreed that the quality of the work was excellent.

A new cafe has also been included in the renovations, and Paddy treated us all to a hot drink. Cheers Paddy.

Leaving the castle we turned right and headed up the perimeter walkway, towards the Priory Church of St Mary.

We didn't go in the church on this occasion but carried on past, and followed the path leading down into the Lune valley. Reaching the river, we turned right. After passing the Millenium Bridge, we headed into the city centre, where we found that a large ice rink had been erected, and a group of primary school children were being given the opportunity of experiencing, what
for most would be there first time on the ice.

Three of our meanderthal group, who were unable to join us on the walk, had arranged to meet us at the Ashton Memorial for lunch. So the time getting on, we began the long climb up to Williamson Park. St Peters Cathedral in the background.

On our way up to the park, the rain that had been threatening, gradually and increasingly began to fall, prompting us to put a bit more effort into our leisurely pace. Our friends had got to the monument before us.

Martin had brought some of his fire water, to warm us up and give us a bit of christmas cheer. Thanks Martin.

After lunch we bid farewell to our pals, and with the rain falling heavily now we beat a hasty retreat back to our cars.