Poetry for Meanderthals!!

I was shown this poem over Christmas, which I'm sure will appeal to a Meanderthal sense of Humour......!!

Christmas Day in the Workhouse

by Ronnie Barker

inspired by George R. Sims

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse,

The merriest day of the year,

The paupers and the prisoners

Were all assembled there.

In came the Christmas pudding,

When a voice that shattered glass

Said, "We don't want your Christmas pudding,

So stick it there with the rest of the unwanted presents".

The workhouse master then arose

And prepared to carve the duck.

He said, "Who wants the parson's nose?"

And the prisoners shouted, "You have it yourself, sir!

The vicar brought his bible

And read out little bits.

Said one old crone at the back of the hall,

This man gets on very well with everybody.

The master rose to make a speech,

But just before he started,

The mistress who was fifteen stone,

Gave three loud cheers and nearly choked herself

And all the paupers then began

To pull their Christmas crackers.

One pauper held his too low down

And blew off both his paper hat and the man's next to him.

The mistress, dishing out the food,

Dropped custard down her front.

She cried,"Aren't I a silly girl?"

And they answered, "You're a perfect picture as alway's ma'am!"

So then they all began to sing

Which shook the workhouse walls.

"Merry Christmas!" cried the master

And the inmates shouted; "Best of luck to you as well sir!?

(from 'Dancing by the Light of the Moon' by Gyles Brandreth)