As I’m lying around,
pondering the problems of the world I realize that at my age I don't really
give a rat's arse anymore.
If walking is
good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims
all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs
and hops and only lives 5 years, while …..
A tortoise
doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And you tell me
to exercise?? I don't think so!
Now that I'm
older here's what I've discovered:
1. I
started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats
are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got
my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I
don't remember being absent-minded.
5. If God wanted
me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
6. If all is not
lost, then where the heck is it?
7. It was a
whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
8. Some days,
you're the top dog; some days you're the lamp post.
9. I wish the buck
really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
10. Kids in the
back seat cause accidents. Accidents in
the back seat cause kids.
11. Some days your the windscreen; some days your the fly!
12. It's hard to
make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The world
only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
14. Funny, I
don't remember being absent-minded.
15. When I'm
finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
16. It’s not
hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only
difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days,
I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get
something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
19. I can’t be
over the hill because I don’t remember being on the top!
20. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
20. HAVE I
POSTED THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE?
(Thanks John)
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